In this Episode,
Ying discussed the "Living Your Truth" podcast and shared her personal experience of giving her power away to others. She emphasized the importance of distinguishing between needs and wants and encouraged listeners to choose a life based on wants, which offers freedom over security. Ying urged listeners to reflect on their own desires and to live in their own truth, free from external pressure and opinions. She also provided thought-provoking questions for listeners to consider in their own journey towards living in their own truth.
Self Reflection Questions:
What do you really truly want, more than anything else in your life?
What would you be and do if you weren't afraid of what others thought of you?
How would it feel to be more honest and real with yourself and the world, and finally live in your own truth?
Share your answers in the comments below
Transcript:
Welcome to LIYT - the Living in Your Truth podcast hosted by Ying Cao, where she will share 10 min of the insights every day to upgrade your life in well being, career, and relationships. Like taking that vitamin every day to build a good foundation and finally create your life on your own terms.
Hello. Welcome Everyone, I'm Ying Cao. Welcome to the 1st Episode of LIYT - The Live In Your Truth Podcast. Over the years, I have used so many titles to introduce myself. But the one that makes me truly proud is that I am the CEO of my life, not who and who’s wife, daughter, and mom, not my job titles or professions.
Yes, for the past 40 years, like many others, I have been giving my power away to so many people and things, like my parents, my teachers, my bosses, the company that I worked for, my husband, my kids. Or even the company that I created myself. I finally decided to take the power back, and that decision made all the difference in my life.
I just turned 40. Yes, and I'm on a totally different path than what I did for the past 40 years, and that is what I called a needing life versus a wanting life.
The first 40 years of my life is about fulfilling other people's expectations. It is accomplishments after accomplishments operating from the lens that I called a needing life. I need to go to the best university, otherwise I couldn't find a good job. I need to get straight As, otherwise I couldn't get into a good University. I need to work on Wall Street, otherwise I'm a failure compared to all my other students. I need to make a lot of money, otherwise I cannot pay for the private school situation. I need to get married and have two kids before I turn 30 because for whatever reason, I believe this is what success looks like, I need to buy a big house. I need to be a board member. I need to raise a lot of money as an entrepreneur. I need to win an award to build my credibility. I needed to get promoted. I need. I need…The needing life certainly created a lot of achievements and joy, but the side effect is that it also created a lot of stress, anxiety, burn out and as long as I achieve my big goals, I can finally rest and be okay. But the truth is, there's always another NEXT. When I feel good about what I have accomplished, looking around and seeing a connection on Linkedin, just got a new big job. Feeling okay is gone. There's always something bigger, better, and more.
At that point, I finally realize that I'm playing a game that has no end. I will never win.
Instead of chasing what I thought I needed or what others thought I needed, I finally decided to play a different game and go after what I really, really want, I learned to stop justifying what I wanted. I stopped being constrained by needs or circumstances. I stopped worrying about others' opinions about what I want in my life.
Needing and wanting are two completely different things.
Needing comes from scarcity. Needing comes from the belief that there is a finite amount of what everyone wants and I have to compete with others to get the part that I need. I need to justify why I need something. It comes from external pressure. It is reactive. The intention of need comes from security. I will not be okay if I don't get what I need.
While wanting comes from within. I can simply want something and don’t have to justify why I want it. It comes from an abundance mindset. As if there is an infinite amount and I can just grab the part that I want. It's an infinite game.
Having a purely wanting approach to life is unthinkable and even ridiculous for most people. Our culture and education taught us - as kids and as employees - the things we seek are seen as limited and scarce resources which we shouldn't want an abundance of. And if we get something, other people will lose. It's a zero sum game. But that's simply not true. The things we truly want. Come from creation, and the possibility of creation is limitless. I'm creating something new, something that has never existed before, so I'm not taking anything from anyone.
Needing is only the means to the end. The reason I need something is because something I want so what I need is the means and what I want is the end.
For example, I'm buying a drill from the hardware store Okay, think of Home Depot. It is something I need. I need the drill to get a hole in the wall. But why do I need the hole in the wall? Because I want to hang the TV on the wall. I want to have a fun and relaxing experience with my family. The drill is not what I want. The fun and relaxing experience is what I really want. Knowing this, I have so many choices to create that experience, the experience I really want. I can use the drill to drill a hole and get the TV on the wall, or I can take the family out for dinner or simply play poker. Even if I didn't get what I needed - the drill. I can still create the experience I want in my life.
So what I want doesn't depend on the thing that I thought I needed. And the same goes for money vs. wealth, losing weight vs. health, getting married vs. love, promotion vs fulfillment.
Embracing a life based on wants is simply a choice, a choice of freedom over security, a choice of creation over scarcity. It requires you to take your power back and live in your own truth. It requires courage.
You must make a choice here and now. Will you continue living in the needing world, where you must compete for scarce resources and justify everything you do, Or will you embrace the wanting world, where you freely choose, create, and get what you want?
Before we conclude for the day, I’d like to post some questions for us all to reflect on:
* What do you really, truly want more than anything else in your life?
* What would you be and do if you weren't afraid of what others thought of you?
* How would it feel to be more honest and real with yourself and the world, and finally live in your own truth?
Share your answers in the comments below and I will see you again tomorrow.
